Friday, March 21, 2014

'F' is for "Fate"

A happy couple, with two grown-up handsome boys, doing well financially..... and then one fateful day, about 8 years ago..., the 21-year old elder son had an aneurysmal stroke that left  him handicapped. The outlook for the entire family changed that day. This is a story of one of my patient's family. I had a long discussion with the father a few days ago. He has aged remarkably since that time. He smiles, but the sadness in his eyes does not match that smile. But he never complains.

"It's God's will," he said. "We are still trying to adjust to the new normal in our lives. It's our fate, our destiny. We have to accept it."

I have believed over a long time that everything happens for a reason and it is generally for the best. Fate and Destiny have as many definitions as the number of people you ask. But I am hard pressed to find a positive spin on the young man's predicament. So I don't know whether I can believe the phrase -- "Everything happens for the best." 

On the other hand, maybe there is more to events in our lives than what we can see or realize right now. We try to plan our lives but maybe there is a master plan, that God alone knows. A lot of times, I have ended up in places where I needed to be, not necessarily where I wanted to be. We can't control our destiny, but we can definitely shape it by making the right choices in moments of decision.

We all have to believe in something. That's what keeps us going on this journey of life. Whether it be the confidence in our abilities, our destiny, love, God, our gut instincts, our friends....anything that helps us to foresee a positive future. But no matter how meticulous we are in planning our future, there is always a mystique about it. We all know that life, with its many ups and downs, can throw a surprise at any time. And these unexpected turns are more often than not, attributed to fate.

And here lies the crux --  the way we react to these surprises and unexpected events in our lives, defines us and our character.   

"Sometimes, perhaps, we are allowed to get lost, so that we may find the right person to ask directions from." ~ Robert Brault

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