Competition among siblings, friends and family is a part of our lives. And most of the times it's healthy, as it should be. The complex social environment we live in, tempts a lot of us to follow a more aggressive, unhealthy competitive streak. And the competition can be about anything under the sun. Cars, houses, jewelry, vacations, furniture(!)....... you name it, and you've got instant comparisons, comments and some serious competition! And none of us will ever admit anything like that exists, but we all know it really does. We all see it everyday amongst family, friends and co-workers.
And to be truthful, till about a decade ago, I used to be a part of the competitive social game. At that time, a close friend advised me not to compete socially. "Try not to compete for one month, but try it seriously. Just be happy with what you have. Be happy for people you love and celebrate their success." Well, I tried it for one month. It was tough, but I stuck with it. The experience was so exhilarating and I felt liberated. Life was more rosy, less stressful and much more enjoyable. And I haven't traveled that competitive road ever since.
Being socially competitive is an inborn human trait. The bigger the ego, the more the competitiveness. Sometimes, it will lead to envy. Philosophers define envy "as a drive which lies at the core of man's life as a social being, an urge to compare oneself with others." Simply put, envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own! It is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has. There is no way to be happy and envious at the same time.
A person who is at peace with himself will seldom fall a victim to envy. People who envy you, will talk about you and the life you live. Pay no attention -- you affected their lives, let them not affect yours. The fact that they talk behind your back just shows that you are two steps ahead in the road of life. Unchecked and unbridled envy will lead to jealousy. And that's when social chaos ensues. Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that we do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than us. There is only one alternative -- self-value. If we cannot love ourselves, we will not believe that we are loved. We should take our eyes off others and turn the scanner within and put all the energy into building our own personal and emotional security.
"Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate." ~ William Arthur Ward
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