"How is everything else?" I asked the 64-year old patient in my office, after his physical exam.
"Never better, Doc. I am retired now," he replied.
"Retired? Planning to take it easy now?" I asked.
"Well, not really," he replied, with a big smile. "I sold my company for a couple of million."
"Oh good... so what's in the near future? A new car... a bigger house... travel?"
"Just the last one, Doc. Travel. I'm over my materialistic streak. Did that in my forties and early fifties. I plan to travel and visit places & people. I want to experience things, make pleasant memories for the rest of my years."
His last line stuck with me. Experience things and make pleasant memories.
Should we spend our time and money on an experience, or get a material object? Of course, if you can afford both, nothing like it. But if we have to make a choice, which will give us more happiness? The answers can be varied, depending on personalities and individual priorities. Psychological research suggests that, in the long run, experiences make people happier than possessions.
That's in part, because the initial joy of acquiring a new object, such as a new car, fades over time as people become accustomed to seeing it every day. Experiences, on the other hand, continue to provide happiness through memories long after the event occurred.
Recent research at the San Francisco State University found that the reason for increased happiness in experiences was that people felt a greater sense of vitality or "being alive" during the experience, and in reflection. As nice as your new car is, it's not going to make you feel alive for more than a few weeks or months.
And the surprising part? As per this research, the moments in life that people remember most fondly were the impromptu gatherings of close friends or family, where the setting was informal, without any pre-planning and there was no particular occasion. And what do people reflect on most about these casual get-togethers? Its the conversation, the camaraderie, the feeling that you connected to people around you....and as a result trust, which is the backbone of any relationship, grows.
The same research revealed that the material possessions people cherished high up on the list were gifts with a personal touch. Such gifts often become keepsakes and have sentimental value that increases with time, instead of diminishing.
People are different and personalities vary. Some of us might not agree with findings of this research. I happen to agree with most of it. If some people are not on the same road of life that you chose, it doesn't mean they are lost. They've just chosen a different path.
I believe life is just not about what you own. Its about people who are a part of your life and your immediate world. We can't control the thought process and attitude of people around us, but we surely can control our own. Create beautiful moments everyday, so that you have wonderful memories to look back on.
"I can explain as much of life as I can to you, but you must remember that there is a part of life for which you are the explanation." ~ Robert Brault
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