The elderly patient was a little hesitant. I knew there was something on her mind.
"Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked.
"Well...please don't take it the wrong way, doc," she started. "But the specialist that you sent me to..."
"Yes," I said. "What about the specialist?"
"I am not going back to that doctor again," she said.
"You don't have to. Would you please tell me why, though?" I asked.
"That doctor is very arrogant. No humility at all," she said firmly.
I was taken aback. "But he is a great doctor," I said defensively.
"I am sure. But not a great person. And that really matters to me," she replied.
I don't know what put that elderly lady off. I didn't press her for any more details. So what is humility? The dictionary defines it as a -- "Disposition to be humble, a lack of false pride."
It's not bad to have pride. A lot of us are deservedly proud of our accomplishments, whether it is professional or in various aspects of our personal lives. The problem comes up when, and if, we start flaunting our success. A lot of people are put off by those who toot their own horn all the time. These are the "know-it-all" people. The toughest three words to elicit from them, as Somerset Maugham so eloquently put it -
It isn't until quite late in life that some people discover how easy it is to say - "I don't know"!
We often forget that at first, we are human beings, with our own unique mixture of virtues and vices. And second, we have our profession, which requires acquiring the appropriate skills. Here is where the confusion starts. We need to realize that our skill set, whatever it may be, can earn us respect, but not love and affection. It is our humanity, underneath that skill set, that earns us the love and affection of people around us.
Many people believe that that humility is the opposite of pride, when, in fact, it is a point of equilibrium. The opposite of pride is actually lack of self-esteem. Is it difficult to be humble? If we are secure in ourselves, humility would be natural. So the corollary would be that people who ooze arrogance, who consider themselves superior and are constantly engaged in endeavors to garner attention, are probably the most insecure.
Be careful at social gatherings, because the more you talk about yourself, the more you will be talked about when you leave! It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. Our society comprises of an intricate web of relationships. Success, in any shape or form, is generally never one individual's alone. Family, friends and co-workers, among others, are a part of that success.
The man who thinks he can live without others is mistaken; the one who thinks others can't live without him is even more deluded.
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less." ~ C. S. Lewis
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