Sunday, May 31, 2009

A matter of the "mind"!!

Have you ever had a situation where people "mind" (sulk)? In other words, when people get upset or angry as a result of "something" you said or did? But you have no idea about what that "something" is?!

So I was asking my friend the other day about people "minding."
"You got to be careful what you say, my friend. It's very tricky," he advised.
"It should be easy," I replied. "Around people who are a little more sensitive, just be quiet. Don't say anything."
"Aha," he said. "But there's a catch."
"A catch?" I asked.
"Yeah," he said. "You see, people can "mind" about something you say or do, but they can also "mind" about something that you don't say or something that you don't do!"
"So where does that leave a guy like me?" I asked.
"For a person who generally speaks his mind -- in a no-win situation," he said, smiling!
"That's no consolation," I said.
"People who really know and understand you will not get upset, no matter what you say, because they know where you are coming from," he continued. "They will talk to you, let you know what's bothering them rather than minding (sulking)."

Now that did make sense to me. When we are around people who know us, we can speak freely without the fear of somebody "minding." Around folks that we don't know well or vice-versa, restraint might be a better option.

But I know its more complicated than the simplistic idea coming forth in the lines above. We all live in a complex social environment where relationships, occasionally, will lose their definition and purpose over a period of time. Sometimes, social engagements become more about saying and doing things as per protocol to boost egos, rather than a celebration of true feelings and real emotions.

I agree with the essence of the quote below, although it might not always be practical in the "real" world.

"Speak your mind freely, for people who matter don't mind and people who mind, don't really matter." ~ Dr Seuss