My wife and I recently went on a trip to Las Vegas. It was a last minute plan and when I booked through an online travel agency, I thought I got a good deal. We got to the airport and at the curbside check in, I shelled out $17 to check in a bag. I really didn't have problem with that.
"Could you please seat us together?" I requested.
"Well....," the young lady at the counter said and handed me the tickets. As I walked away, I saw the seat numbers -- 1A and 6A. I was back at the counter in a second.
"I requested to be seated together." I was a little annoyed.
"The computer assigns random seats, the only option I can put in is to put people in the same row."
"The same row? You have us in row 1 and row 6!"
"Sir, you both are in row A."
"Row A?! Row A extends from 1 to 26---"
"There is another option. You could buy choice seats."
"Choice seats? What are choice seats?"
"For a nominal charge, we can give you seats together."
"Oh, alright. Let's do that."
"That will be $15---"
"That's not too bad---" I started.
"---for each seat, one-way," she continued.
I was peeved, but I paid up anyway. I would rather pay altogether in the beginning rather than paying small amounts in ten different steps. We made it to our "choice seats" and before take-off, the stewardess started with her safety monologue. It was very early in the morning, and my eyes were getting heavier.......
........"We also have a beverage service for your convenience and pleasure. Wine is $5 per serving, sodas and water for $2.... there's a surcharge of 50 cents on each of these if you want the flight attendant to smile while she or he serves you--"
I turned to my wife, who was snoozing. "Did you hear what she said! There's a 50 cent charge if you want the flight attendant to smile---"
"We live in tough economic times. A 50 cent smile is a real cheap smile though......" she said, as she dozed off again.
"Hey miss, at this rate you'll soon be charging us to use the restroom," I joked to the flight attendant as she walked by.
"Sir, the first 150 seconds of the restroom usage are free," she said. And she was not smiling.
"What? I was just kidding!"
"Well, I am not," she said frostily. "After the first 150 seconds, you put a quarter in the slot by the toilet seat, every 30 seconds."
"And what happens if I don't have a quarter?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.
"In that case, sir, you will get a five second restroom grace time. After the 5 seconds expire, the locks will release and the door will automatically swing open."
"God! You are kidding, right?"
"Never been more serious in my life. For your comfort & convenience, this aircraft is equipped with change machines right outside the restrooms." And she walked off, still without a smile.
Wow! Was this wild or what?.........
And then my wife woke me up. "Hey, we are in Vegas. Let's go and win that million dollars!"
I don't know how much of the above occurred in dreamland. The next time you take a flight, please take some quarters with you, just in case.......
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