"So you take this antibiotic pill once a day, and see me next week if you are not better," I said to a young man, whom I saw in the office.
"Sure Doc. Is this pill expensive?" he asked.
"I'm not sure, it might be." I glanced at his chart and saw that he did not have insurance.
"Do you have samples, Doc? I really can't afford any expensive medication at this time," he said.
I looked at him a little closely. He was dressed very well. The keys he had in his hands displayed the Mercedes logo, and from the looks of it, it was one of the newer remote controlled keys. His shoes were 'Air-Jordan' -- probably fairly expensive too. So what was the deal here? But maybe he suddenly fell on hard times, I thought to myself.
"I don't have any samples now, but if you can come back in a couple of days, I'll probably have some," I said.
"Ohh... I won't be able to do that. I'm going on vacation tomorrow," he replied.
How do you make sense of people like the one above? Here is my own personal example, and that will probably help understand the dichotomy of our social structure. I was car-shopping at that time. At one of the dealerships, I was particularly interested in one car. And then the car salesman, says to me-- "Your social status doesn't allow you to buy this car. You need a different one." I just smiled in response. But his statement stuck with me for the next few days. My social status doesn't allow me to buy something that I like?
I started to think of the cars my friends drive. Apart from the people living in my neighborhood (because I see their cars parked outside), I realized that I really didn't know what brand or type of cars my friends have. And frankly, I don't really care. I am close to some individuals because I connect with them. I like them for who they are, and not because of what they have, or what they do. So that brings us to "Social Status."
Do I define my social status, or does it define me? Am I locked in a certain standard of living that society around me anoints? Human beings are social animals. As a general rule, we want people to think good of us. A few of us will go to extremes to make sure that we are in everybody's good books. A few, on the other side of the spectrum, don't care at all of what others think. Majority of us are in the middle, where we try to balance what is expected of us and what we think is appropriate.
A lot of factors define one's social status. Personality and maturity probably rank among the top. Educational status and professional / work success would come in a close second. Money and wealth provide a lot of prominence, but do not necessarily provide a measure of status. Being prominent, either due to wealth or title, does not ensure likability within society. Status and reputation is not given to us, nor is it bestowed. We earn these two unmeasurable parameters over the years, irrespective of one's education, wealth or title.
Life would be a lot less stressful if we all keep doing what we think is right, stick to our principles & core values, and let society worry about our social status.
"An individual who values his privileges and perks above his principles, soon loses both." ~ Dwight Eisenhower
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