"Unethical Amnesia" -- is it real ?

"I feel my heart racing off and on," a patient said, a few weeks ago in my office.
"When do you feel that? Is it when you are exercising?" I asked.
"No...no. It's generally when I'm upset, Doc," she said. I observed that her eyes were moist.
"That is generally not a serious issue," I said. But I knew she wasn't done.
"It's one of my friends, Doctor. Every few years, she will repeat the same unpleasant things, and when I remind her of the past, her reply is that she does not remember."
"Well ---" I started.
"But she remembers every little favor she has done for me for the last 20 years!" she exclaimed.
I'm not a psychologist, but I had a fair idea of what was going on here. I pulled up a chair and sat down.
"Have you heard of "Unethical Amnesia" ? I asked.


A few days later, this came up again when I was sitting with some of my friends. In the last week, there was a research study out of Harvard and Kellogg School of Management, which concluded that "Unethical Amnesia" is indeed a condition which prevails in most of us. We all are social animals, and generally, we know when we do something that is morally or ethically not within the parameters of "Being a good human - being." We might hide it from the rest of the world, but it does not give us a good feeling inside. It becomes an uncomfortable memory within ourselves, and our neuronal circuitry tends to suppress these unpleasant memories. And recent studies indicate that people genuinely do tend to forget the details of their own transgressions. But this does make folks more prone to repeat these mistakes, leading to "repeat offenders."

On the other hand, when we do something to help someone, especially where nothing was expected in return, it gives us a great feeling. We genuinely feel good after a selfless act. And our neuronal circuits crystallize both the memory, and the feeling. Subsequently, it etches itself in our memory. Our personality, in the long run, becomes a sum of these memories and emotions.

Now take a moment, and think back on all the selfless deeds you have done in the last few years..... Too many, isn't it? 
Now try to think of the not-so-good things you might have done during the same time frame.... Not a single instance, right? Or is it 'Unethical Amnesia' ?!!

"The next best thing to the enjoyment of a good time, is the recollection of it." ~ James L. Basford

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Life comes around in a full circle.....

Many, many moons ago, during my residency, I used to drive a small car. I would see cars whizzing by and always wondered if I would ever be able to afford a Camry. After finishing my residency, I realized I could and promptly bought one. Soon after that, as I was driving my Camry, my eyes wandered over to the Mercedes, the BMWs.... and I wondered again -- could I someday afford one? After a few years I could, and owned those cars at one time or another. Now the kids are grown and I wonder again-- should I just buy a small car? Its easier to park, more fuel efficient and that's really all I need.

Life does come around in a full circle. Over the course of our lives, our wants are many, but the needs always remain about the same. At about the time we are able to bring our wants to the level of our needs, we really start living and our life becomes purposeful and much more enjoyable.

When physicians have a busy, established practice, a lot of Corporate Honchos will come around to get the physicians involved in the business aspect of medicine. The intent is to get you to make more money, and in return they make some too.
Let me share a recent conversation I had with a gentleman  in the financial sector.

"So Doc, you have a really busy practice," he said.
"Yeah, work is busy. But only from 8 to 5 everyday. And I dont work weekends," I said.
"Just 8 to 5? What do you do after 5 PM and on weekends?" he asked.
"Well," I said. "I take life easy, come home early every day. As my weekends are free, I spend a lot of time with my kids, enjoy movies and eating out with my wife, and really delve into my hobbies."
"Doc..!" He was very animated now. "You really should work more, involve yourself in different organizations and committees, make connections with important people, get your name out there..."
"Then what?" I asked.
"Then you open more clinics, hire more physicians and expand your business," he could barely contain himself.
"And then?" I repeated myself
"You would be busy with meetings and conferences, hire even more people and then you should franchise out your clinic name and expand into neighboring counties," He was very enthusiastic.
"And after that?" I asked again.
"Then go public, have an IPO and make a lot of money," He was almost out of his chair.
"And what then?" I persisted.
"Then you got it made, Doc. You take life easy, come home from work whenever you want to, your weekends will be free, spend a lot of time with your kids, take long walks with your wife and cultivate your hobbies....."

"Know your needs, be careful with your wants and when you strike a healthy balance between the two, you'll really start living!" ~ ac

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