The other day, my wife and I were driving to a friends house and we got caught in traffic. So my wife says --"Isn't the other lane going faster? Why don't you go in that lane?"
So I change my lane and guess what happens? My new lane slows down to a crawl and the lane I just left picks up speed! And this happens all the time, at least to me.
And when I go to the grocery store, its a given that a wheel on my cart will always develop a squeal that makes heads turn. When its time to check out, I look for the shortest line, and then I try to gauge all the check out clerks. I get in the line with the most intense looking cashier, the one who seems to be working the fastest. And after all this, more often than not, the person ahead of me, has some issues with his credit card.
What is the purpose of going through all these permutations and combinations- changing traffic lanes or check out lanes in stores? Obviously to save time. And how much time do we save? Maybe a couple of minutes, maybe a little more but mostly less. So this begs the question -- is saving a couple of minutes worth stressing the brain with all those calculations?
A recent research study, by no less than the "Academy of Science" researchers revealed that if there was just one check out lane at retail and grocery stores (like in most Banks), where the next customer is called whenever a cashier opens up, reduced the sub-conscious stress levels for the day, by about 10-25%. That does seem like a lot. Cynics among us (and there are many!) will wonder how in the heck can we measure sub-conscious stress levels-- and to that, I have no answer.
But the point of the research study should be well taken. A lot of us need to to take a chill pill, relax and take it a bit easy. A couple of minutes here or there, in our day-to-day lives, is not going to change the trajectory of one's life. There is more to life than just speeding it up.
When a person try's to control everything, that individual enjoys nothing. Sometimes, its therapeutic to let go and just let life happen. And you will be surprised how enjoyable and relaxing that feeling can be!
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." ~Jim Goodwin
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Sunday, August 9, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
The fallout of 'Ego' & 'Egomania'
"Your BP is high today. Had a rough day?" I asked a patient in my office a few days ago.
"I am sick of my Boss," he exclaimed. "He bosses me around so much!"
"Well....." I said. "Isn't he supposed to do that?"
"No. He can supervise me, but he should not manipulate me. He inserts his nose in everybody's business," he replied. "He is a control freak. He even wants to control my personal life."
I could see that my patient was really very upset.
"Try to calm down, you are only hurting yourself by getting upset. Some people are just built like that" I said.
"His ego is as big as a football field," my patient continued, shaking his head.
"I know a few people like that," I said, trying to soothe him. "Best way to deal with folks like these is to stay away, just don't step on that football field."
Anyway, he did calm down a bit in a while. It did however set me thinking about 'Ego'. We hear this all the time. People complain about others having a big 'ego', and to top it all, the complainers sometimes have a bigger 'ego' than the folks they are complaining about!
So how do we define 'Ego'? What the heck is this ill-defined, subjective "thing"? In the present day world, it can have many meanings -- it can mean one's self esteem, or an inflated sense of self - worth. I read about it a little and here is my 2 cents worth of research.
How do a few people get such an inflated Ego? In the initial phase of life, people around us build our ego. When a child is born, the first thing he or she becomes aware of is the outside world. The eyes open to see the immediate world, the hands touch others, the ears listen to external sounds, the tongue tastes food, and the nose gets a sense of the smells & fragrances. All our senses relish the experiences of the world beyond ourselves. As the child grows, self-esteem is built with the love, attention and affection from others. Ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living within a society.
After a certain stage in life, we start to control our own ego. The problem begins when, in certain individuals, it grows so much that now the roles are reversed. The inflated ego now controls the individual. According to a research study from Oxford University a few years ago, there is a very striking paradox in people with an unrealistic sense of self - worth. These folks are more insecure and exhibit attention seeking behavior most of the time, while interacting with their peers. There seems to be a constant need to impress people all around, at all times.
We all have and need an ego, for its the sense of our being. That's what drives us in our daily lives. But the keywords here are 'realistic' and 'control'.
"If you want to reach a state of contentment and bliss, go beyond your ego and relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved by all and the need to judge." ~ Deepak Chopra
.
"I am sick of my Boss," he exclaimed. "He bosses me around so much!"
"Well....." I said. "Isn't he supposed to do that?"
"No. He can supervise me, but he should not manipulate me. He inserts his nose in everybody's business," he replied. "He is a control freak. He even wants to control my personal life."
I could see that my patient was really very upset.
"Try to calm down, you are only hurting yourself by getting upset. Some people are just built like that" I said.
"His ego is as big as a football field," my patient continued, shaking his head.
"I know a few people like that," I said, trying to soothe him. "Best way to deal with folks like these is to stay away, just don't step on that football field."
Anyway, he did calm down a bit in a while. It did however set me thinking about 'Ego'. We hear this all the time. People complain about others having a big 'ego', and to top it all, the complainers sometimes have a bigger 'ego' than the folks they are complaining about!
So how do we define 'Ego'? What the heck is this ill-defined, subjective "thing"? In the present day world, it can have many meanings -- it can mean one's self esteem, or an inflated sense of self - worth. I read about it a little and here is my 2 cents worth of research.
How do a few people get such an inflated Ego? In the initial phase of life, people around us build our ego. When a child is born, the first thing he or she becomes aware of is the outside world. The eyes open to see the immediate world, the hands touch others, the ears listen to external sounds, the tongue tastes food, and the nose gets a sense of the smells & fragrances. All our senses relish the experiences of the world beyond ourselves. As the child grows, self-esteem is built with the love, attention and affection from others. Ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living within a society.
After a certain stage in life, we start to control our own ego. The problem begins when, in certain individuals, it grows so much that now the roles are reversed. The inflated ego now controls the individual. According to a research study from Oxford University a few years ago, there is a very striking paradox in people with an unrealistic sense of self - worth. These folks are more insecure and exhibit attention seeking behavior most of the time, while interacting with their peers. There seems to be a constant need to impress people all around, at all times.
We all have and need an ego, for its the sense of our being. That's what drives us in our daily lives. But the keywords here are 'realistic' and 'control'.
"If you want to reach a state of contentment and bliss, go beyond your ego and relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved by all and the need to judge." ~ Deepak Chopra
.
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